You wouldn't be reading this right now if you weren't serious about saving or rekindling your relationship. This desire is what led you to this article in the first place. But if you are feeling desperate to get your ex back, you may be doing things that cause your ex to pull away naturally. Many times we get the opposite reaction from what we want. It is just human nature to resist this type of pressure. So I want to start by letting you know that struggling against human nature is completely pointless, and it will only make matters worse. You want to get human nature working for you, not against you.
Do you call, text and/or write your ex constantly? Do you try to make him feel sorry for you? If you said yes to any of these things then STOP! If you really want to get your ex boyfriend back, then you need to stop doing these things right now.
So naturally you ask, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?" Try following this strategy instead.
You need to take a completely fresh approach. Firsy break contact off with him for a while. Do your own thing. Use this time when there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend tofocus on ways that you can improve your own personal life, rather than focusing on the relationship issues. This will be challenging, and it is going to require discipline to prevent you from returning to your old ways.
When this happens, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you. Since are no longer pursuing him, chances are you will become more mysterious to him in some ways. He won't be sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now your ex can actually miss you, which was not possible when you were giving him all of your attention.
See how you have used human nature to your advantage instead of disadvantage. Now, he is curious. This example shows you how to avoid common mistakes you might make if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. Once you implement this basic strategy you will restore a balance in your relationship. This will make it easier for your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place.
So keep yourself grounded and avoid smothering him. Don't always be available. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get but don't over do it and let him make the first move. This is just one strategy you can use if you are asking "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?"
If you want to see a complete guide to getting your ex back and how to avoid countless other mistakes that people make trying to get their ex back go to http://www.TheMagicofMakingUpToday.com
Every day couples who felt they were in a good or even great relationship find themselves broken up. This typically leaves at least one of you wondering how to get your ex back.
There are four primary phases you will go through to get your ex back. If you have suffered a break up and want to get your ex back then your head is likely spinning and your emotions are running all over the place. So here is a good general outline for figuring out how to get your ex back. In this article we will cover the four phases of how to get your ex back.
How to get your ex back- Phase 1
To get your ex back you must regain control of yourself. In fact, to get your ex back you need to remind yourself that you are someone special who this other person found wonderful enough to get into a relationship in the first place! You need to get over the hurt and anger which is much easier said than done but you must if you want to get your ex back. A big part of how to get your ex back is regaining your own emotional control. You can't really move on to the next phase of how to get your ex back until you can at least view your relationship with some objectivity.
How to get your ex back- Phase 2
Now that you have regained some objectivity, to continue to get your ex back, you should begin to understand what happened to break up your relationship. You need to get past specific events and things said to understand the underlying real causes of the break up. This is the only way to get your ex back. Not to oversimplify but there is a basic reason for a break up for both a man and a woman. You need to understand these basic reason if you want to know how to get your ex back.
A woman who wants to get her ex back must understand men. A man wants to be admired. He wants to be respected. If your emotions are still a little raw you may be thinking "oh no, I have to stroke his male ego". Call it what you like but yes at least if you want to get your ex back. Men like to think they are being successful for their women. When you start making little jokes of everything he does you are undermining his sense of maleness. Without even thinking about it he will seek out other women who do fill that need. You need to understand this if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend or spouse back.
A man who wants to get his ex back must understand women. A woman wants to be appreciated. Women do all sorts of little things for their men. Initially men respond to these but as the relationship ages men tend to be much less appreciative of the detail that women put into a relationship. If you are a man you are likely saying "oh no don't tell me I'm taking her for granted". If you want to get your ex back then realize, yes, you are probably taking her for granted. Women want you to notice and appreciate all the little things they do. Very often the complaint from a woman is that he doesn't pay attention to me. So she may go and find someone who will pay attention to her. You need to understand this if you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back.
How to get your ex back- Phase 3
Armed with the information above you need to make an honest assessment of your specific situation. This will continue the process of you started to get your ex back. Make certain you want to get your ex back for the right reasons. You should want to get your ex back because you really believe in the relationship and think it is still worth pursuing. Don't try to get your ex back to satisfy your own ego. It's not about getting your ex back so you can later dump them on your terms. Most people who feel this way won't bother trying to get an ex back but some do. Understand the specific and the underlying reasons for your split. This will be invaluable in helping you get your ex back. What other factors are putting stress in your lives? Work and family factors are often a big part of a break up. Make certain you take all this into account in your analysis of the situation.
How to get you ex back- Phase 4
Finally, to get your ex back you need to develop a plan and then execute it. How will you make first contact? What will you say? How will you even get a conversation with your ex? Professional counselors will tell you that there is a business aspect to getting your ex back. This is not to take away from the emotional attachment you have. But if you want to get your ex back you must first develop a specific plan and then execute. The plan is necessary because you need to think about all the possible responses you may get and be prepared for each. You don't want to have an emotional reaction to anything because that can ruin your chance of getting your ex back. So, think things through and develop a complete plan to get your ex back.
Good relationships are worth saving but so often couples just don't know how to go about it. If you have a relationship worth saving and you would like to get back with your ex go to http://www.themagicofmakinguptoday.com for even more help. Watch the free video to get started getting your ex back.
When someone is on the receiving end of a break up they inevitably want to know, "Are there 'magic' words I can use to get my ex to call me?
How to get your ex to call you- What not to say!
Believe it or not there are words that will almost magically make your ex feel like they have to call you back. There are also some things you should not say. The things you shouldn't say tend to fall into two overall categories:
Pleading and Emergency.
The Plead goes like this. "Jim, please, oh please call me. This is the 5th
time I have called. I MUST talk to you now!."
The Emergency sounds something like this. "Beth, this is an emergency. I have to talk to you right away. Please call me as soon as you get this."
Hopefully, you are laughing a little as you read this because you can see how desperate these sound. Maybe you've done this yourself in the past but not this time. At any rate if you can laugh at these you still have your sense of humor. You also realize that this is not the way to get your ex to call you.
How to get your ex to call you- What to say!
If you want to get someone to call you back you need to employ two of the stronger forces of human nature: curiosity and self interest. Think about it. Aren't these the reasons you've even read this far?, your own curiosity and self interest. Can you see how strong these forces are? Together, curiosity and self interest combine to create an almost irresistible force.
So what could you say to get your ex to return your call? How about:
"Hi Ed. It's Beth. I wanted to let
you know I appreciate what you did for
me. Call me because I want to thank you
This approach uses both curiosity and self interest. How can you ex resist? They probably have no idea what they did for you. What is it you appreciate? The best thing is that this is a positive upbeat message. There is no reason to dread returning the call. It doesn't sound like anything bad is going to happen. It sounds like you are to be congratulated. This is how to get your ex to call you.
Of course you need to be prepared. Your ex will call back so you need to set up in advance what they did that you appreciate. It can be anything small as long as it is plausible. The important part now is that you have a bigger plan for getting your ex back.
Getting your ex to call you back is easy. The hard part is having a complete plan to make up with your ex. If you get them to call back and you don't have a plan you could do more damage than if they hadn't called back. To see a complete plan for making up with your ex after you've gotten them to call you go to http://www.themagicofmakinguptoday.com Watch the free video to learn the first step in getting back your ex.
Break Up Warning Sign #3
The blame game is the number three break up warning sign. If its always the other person's fault then no one is taking responsibility. Sometimes in relationships people revert to childhood tendencies. These aren't that actual words but in effect they are saying, "it's not my fault, you made me do it." There is no culpability for one's own actions. So if neither party is willing to take responsibility for the relationship there is going to be a problem. This blame the other person is the number three warning sign of a break up.
Break Up Warning Sign #2
Constant fights are the number two break up warning sign. If the frequency and content of the fights tend to escalate then you have a serious break up problem. When two people fight like this things get said and insults are hurled that are very difficult to take back later. Its very, very difficult to keep the relationship going this way. What the fights are about is not nearly as important as the nature of the fight. Verbal sparring often leads to very serious relationship injuries and is clearly the number two warning sign of a break up.
Break up Warning Sign #1
Relationships often move very quickly to a comfortable place. However, it is very easy to move from being comfortable with each other to neglecting each other. Neglect is the number one warning sign of a break up. Neglect can take many forms but we all know it when we are feeling it. You may feel neglected because your feelings and opinions are not seriously considered. Even worse you may feel neglect because you are being ignored. When your significant other begins to tune you out the relationship is headed for a break up. This type of neglect is really the most insulting. It implies that you have no value or anything to say worth listening to. So it is important to address neglect, the number one warning sign of a break up immediately. Don't let it persist.
Ideally, couple will see these warning signs and address them before they get out of control. However, the reality is that many people let these things go on and eventually find themselves in a broken relationship and they don't really know why. Go over these three key break up warning signs and you will begin to find the real source of your problem.
Relationships are worth saving. The right relationship can be so hard to find so don't just let it slip away. Watch a free video at
http://www.TheMagicofMakingUpToday.com that goes over the first step to getting back together.
Frequently, these relationships could be saved if the individuals knew how to navigate through some difficult times that face every relationship. So here are some things to consider if you find yourself asking "Why did we break up?" and you think you want to get back together.
Why do you want to get back together? Do you really miss this person or just the idea of them? So many times people think they want to get back together but all they really want to do is "win" the exchange. They just don't like the idea of losing. Make certain you really want to get back together or you'll find yourself saying, "Why did we break up?" all over again.
If you've decided that you still do want to be with this person then take action. Take action. Two simple words, but so difficult to execute. Often in a break up situation it is so hard to take action. You may feel that you were wronged. You may feel insulted. Your self esteem may have been damaged. You may be afraid of further rejection. None of that matters. If you don't take action nothing will happen. You can sit around and keep asking yourself, "Why did we break up?" That won't change anything.
For some people the action may be writing down your feelings and sharing them in written form. Others like to talk. You may ask to meet on a casual basis in a public place to talk. No matter what, the key is to take action. If you want to get back together try and change the situation. Often just asking each other, "Why did we break up?" is a great starter if you can talk about it honestly and maturely.
If you've had a connection with this person you know how they will respond to different ideas. The odds are that your ex is also sitting around wondering Why did we break up? It is amazing how many times both people are thinking this but both people believe they are the only ones who care about the relationship they had. Find a way to communicate your feelings.
Relationships are worth saving. The right relationship can be so hard to find so don't just let it slip away. Watch a free video at
It will show you the first step to getting back together.